The so-called “American Taliban” guy was recently released from right here in the CMU where I’m at. You know his name. The cops came and got him at one minute after midnight and booted him right out the back door. He left his shower shoes in his cell, and I got them. Good! Mine were about worn out.

This dude was the weirdest weirdo in here. And that’s saying something. He had no personality at all. He just stared off into space straight ahead, not making eye contact or even moving. His face was continually vacant, empty, and still, except for his rapidly blinking eyelids. You’d think he was having a seizure if you didn’t know better. When he walked, he awkwardly held his arms out to the side and shuffled like a robot. He sort of reminded me of C-3PO from Star Wars.

In all the time I have been around him, he never said one single word to me. He would not even acknowledge the presence of a non-Muslim. This is common practice among his brand of radicals. But the strictness with which he stuck too it was astonishing. It was like he was deaf and blind to you if you were an infidel. You’d say excuse me, and he’d just stare straight ahead like a stuffed raccoon. Of course, he wasn’t all that social with the other jihadis either. All he really did was sit in his cell and softly chant the Quran to himself. He would come out to wash his laundry, which he did obsessively every single day. But that was about it. I never saw him do anything even remotely leisure oriented.

I’m no expert, but there has got to be something deeply wrong in a mind like that. I wonder if he has always been that way, or if his brain somehow got fried. Maybe they hooked jumper cables up to his head and shocked the daylights out of him after he was captured over there in Afghanistan?

What would make a person who was born in America want to leave it all and go to a regressive authoritarian religious dictatorship? Healthy people who have tasted the liberal freedom of Western culture can’t stand going to a place that doesn’t have it. Most red blooded Americans can’t go too long in the Sand Box before they start missing 4th of July picnics, pretty girls, fast cars, fun music, happy friends, going to the beach, and all the things that fill a free heart with contentment. Dastardly governments not withstanding; the American people are really good folks, and western culture affords a lot of opportunity for self actualization. But that’s not what this guy wanted. Fair enough. I guess if C-3PO wants to go live in Saudi Arabia, that’s his choice.

Everyone is wigging out over what he’s going to do now that he’s out of prison. I don’t know what he’s going to do. But I can tell you what he’s NOT going to do: He’s not going to get laid! Ha ha ha! Women will pick up on his creepy vibe at a cellular, instinctive level; and it will cause their legs to slam shut like a bear trap! Females, after all, are the genetic gatekeepers. And their DNA will tell them to not let this weirdo pass his genes on to the next generation. I guess there is justice after all.

Is he still a violent jihadi radical? Of course! He was certainly okay with it when ISIS attacked the Christians in here last November, took one of my friends hostage and executed him, then stabbed my other friend a dozen times before we could stop the Holy War. So yah, I’d say he’s just as gung ho as he ever was. But what will most likely happen is he will make his way back to Saudi Arabia, and then one of his fellow religious zealots will end up killing him for not being orthodox enough, or for being orthodox in the wrong way. That’s how these neurotic jihadis think. I’ve seen it over and over. They have no concept of live-and-let-live. None at all. Which is why they are still stuck in the Stone Age. It is what it is, I guess.

Good bye buddy. Have a nice life. Thanks for the shower shoes.

Schaeffer Cox (sent 6-1-19)

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