Seeing you at our visit was amazing. I was nervous to meet you since you hadn’t seen me since you were just a brand new baby. I was afraid you wouldn’t know me or that you would be shy to talk to me. But it turns out that as soon as I saw you, you made me fall in love with you and forget all of that.
I saw you from across the room. Your hair shone in the sunlight that came through the window. It moved as you turned to see me, then it wisped back as you moved my direction. Your face was gentle, innocent, and expressionless. I was stunned by how gracefully you moved. I had only seen you in pictures, and to see you in real life made me drop to my knees. I watched, unable to speak. You seemed to float across the room like a tendril of light. You said nothing, yet everything, as you floated up into my arms and lay your heard on my shoulder in the elegant silence that forgave all the years lost.
Bri, sweetheart, when I held you as a little newborn baby and you wrapped your perfect little hand around my pinky finger, it changed my life. And when I held you on my shoulder in that visiting room it changed my life for a second time. I love you so much and I’ll love you all of your life.
I don’t know how much longer I will be in prison, but as soon as I get out, I’ll find you. Remember the secret I told you about, or building a real-life castle, or traveling around the world, or anything else that you can dream of. Anything you want to do, we can do. I will help you make it happen.
I’m proud of how brave you are. You also have a fun sense of humor and a charming way about you. My heart glows with joy to know you are my daughter. The blood your heart is pumping is MY blood. I gave it to you. So, anytime you feel lonely, just feel your pulse and know that I am with you because I am in your blood.
Bri, when I’m out at sea on my sailboat at night and I look up into the clear sky at billions of stars shining so bright that it looks like I could reach out and touch them, I feel awestruck and captivated. That’s how I felt when I saw you.
I love you sweetheart,
When I saw you at our visit, it was the best thing to happen to me in 5 years! I love you more than words can ever say. The look on your face when we saw each other was pure relief and love. I’ve missed you so bad all these years I’ve been in prison. You were my best friend in the world out there. Spending time with you was the best thing I ever did. I wish I were out there right now so I could spend time with you. But I’m at least glad that we spent lots of time together before I was thrown in prison. Those times spent with you are the best memories of my life.
I’m very proud of you. You are loving and kind and sensitive. But you are also brave and strong and full of life. I was surprised at how smart and well spoken you have become. The qualities you have will serve you well in life and make everything you do that much easier.
I can see that you like to get a project in mind and stay on it until you accomplish your goal. Like how you wanted to build a house for a bearded dragon and a thorny devil. I’m the same way, son. It’s kinda new for me to see my qualities in a little person like you. I hope you have all of my good qualities and none of my bad ones.
What did you end up using your $50 on? I’m sure you will spend it smart. I bet you’d be a hit with unboxing videos. How much would a used camera in good condition be? Find out and let me know. If that is something you want to do, I’ll help you make it happen. Someday, when I get out of prison, I’ll be able to watch all your videos.
I’m in solitary confinement right now, but as soon as I get out, I’ll call you. I want to hear your voice. Are you old enough to have your own email address? I can start sending you emails as soon as you are able to read them and reply on your own.
You did so good at our visit. It was super long, but you were very mature and had no problems at all. I’m sorry you got locked in the bathroom. Did you freak out or cry? You seemed fine when you came out.
When I get out, you can pick any adventure in the world and we’ll go on it. It will be the most fun you’ve ever had. I promise. We could raft the Amazon river, climb Mt. Everest, sail around the world, run with the bulls in Spain, bike across the country, go cliff diving in Mexico, or go skydiving out of our own plane. Just say the word, and off we’ll go!
You are still my best friend and I can’t wait to see you again, hopefully, not in prison.
I love you,